I remember the day that I didn’t win the Ms. Vancouver pageant, or for that matter, any other kind of single- winner type of competition throughout my life. At first, I would have that feeling of disappointment, a sudden knot in my stomach and throat, because in that moment on stage, when my name isn’t called, I am shocked that I forget to breathe for a moment and simultaneously, I feel like tearing up. After the initial shock, frustration sets in, and a ton of those oh so wonderful personal questions of why didn’t I make it? Why didn’t I win? Did I waste my time and money? Disapponted, I question and play the blame game on myself and then, others.
After the Ms. Vancouver competition, over a short period of time, sitting in solace, I closed my eyes and pictured, symbolically, two trains choo-chooing away at the same time, but both going somewhere unknown. One train is filled with blamers and frustrated people like how I was, while the other is full of hopefuls. And though both destinations are unknown, I asked myself which train I would prefer to be seated in? Without hesitation, I said that I prefer the one where I could seize the day, carpe diem type of stuff, the train of hopefuls! I knew that I MUST have HOPE in my destination and that with it, will come a positive desire and opportunity for something better. I figured that hope is a positive notion, while frustration is not. Sounds like common sense, but somehow choosing the latter is much easier because you feel like you hold no responsibility. You blame everyone else, and you don’t sieze the opportunity that is in front of you.
Instead, carpe diem away and see what you got out of that experience and if you can build a foundation out of it for your future. You won’t know what lies ahead but you can choose to hope for the best. Sometimes I forget to be positive, yes we all do it, and so I get off the hopeful train for a moment but I always get back on and continue to build positive connections with people, grow as a person and hope for the best. Living in the positive opens doors for a hopeful future. Being hopeful is being positive, they go hand-in-hand. No matter how you put it, hope and positivity are one.
In riding the hopeful train after not winning the crown, what happened to me? Well, because of going through with the pageant and even though I didn’t win, I’m now a television host for its parent company, Vancouver Television and SHAW through the experience and the connections I built from this pageant. I jumped off the disappointed and frustrated train after losing, and I got on the hopeful one. The destination is still unclear, but I feel much joy and excitement here, and I don’t want to get off.